Category: collaboration

I am sitting in my family room watching the Ohio State/Michigan game, laptop in lap, posting on the topic of preparing for the Year of the Peer.   A few moments ago, I received a text from a friend I met since moving to California about eight years ago. The message read: Just wanted to say that post Thanksgiving, I have a real sense of gratitude for all the family, friends, and acquaintances in my life. Hope I’ve been good to you, too!

Hard to think of a better way to prepare for the Year of the Peer than thanking the people you care about, sharing how much you appreciate them, and letting them know you hope you’re making a positive difference in their lives as well.   It’s something we don’t do often enough, yet being the recipient of such a message has already made my day and inspired me to complete this blog post (game notwithstanding).

After thanking the people who are making a difference in your life, here are 10 other suggestions:

1. Commit yourself to the idea that who you surround yourself with matters.  Recognize that so much of who you are and what you achieve in life is a reflection of your peers.
2. Take stock of the people in your life. Who is lifting you up, holding you at bay, or even dragging you down?  Spend more time with the people who will help you raise your game.
3. Ask yourself:  Who did I meet this year (whom I didn’t know last year) who has made a positive difference in my life?  Consider how you can advance those relationships to your mutual benefit.  (And if you don’t have anyone new in your life, take note of that for next year).
4. Ask yourself: Who have I lost touch with over the years?  How and why did that happen?  Not every relationship in our life is meant to last forever.  However, often times we can lose touch with someone without even realizing it.  Before we know it, x years have gone by and we just never realized it.  Don’t let that discourage you from reaching out!   You’ll both be glad you did.
5. Seek out individuals who will challenge your world view.  Too often, we hang out with people who are similar to us – for some of us, maybe too similar.  In the movie The Sure Thing, Professor Taub tells her students: “Have conversations with people whose clothes are not color coordinated.”  Good advice!
6. Assume a posture of learning rather than judging.  The more often you can take the default position that you can learn from anyone if you just pay enough attention, the more likely you actually will.  Don’t judge others, or rate their opinions/answers to your questions, learn from them.
7. Ask more questions of people and listen for understanding.   This is tough to do if you’re inclined to judge all the time, which is why being a learner is so essential.  Too often when people make statements we don’t agree with, we counter with our own diametrically opposed viewpoint.  While you can’t fathom how someone could hold such a view, you’ll never find out either if you leap into an argument.  Be curious instead.  If you do, you may never achieve agreement, but you might come to a mutual understanding and even develop a respect for a different point of view.
8. Share what you do know with others who will benefit from your experience and wisdom.  Effective peer-to-peer relationships are powered by generosity and reciprocity.  As you learn from others, be sure you are returning the favor.
9. Avoid the urge to make a New Year’s Resolution.  If anyone asks you, just say you’re not doing that this year.  According to the University of Scranton, while nearly half of Americans make New Year’s Resolutions, 92% of them fail.  People fail largely because their resolution lacks specificity and because they typically don’t ask for help.  Why be one of them?
10. Set goals for yourself instead.  Once you’ve defined your goals, whether you want to run a company or run a marathon, surround yourself with people who have done it or want to do it.   This is where joining or starting a peer group can be incredibly effective!

Take these 10 thought starters (11 once you’ve thanked your peers for the year), add to them as you see fit, and share any ideas you may have for how you will prepare for the Year of the Peer in the comments section.  In the meantime, don’t forget to subscribe to our Year of the Peer video podcast on YouTube.  The link to iTunes will be available soon.   Enjoy your Saturday!

Image: Thank you.

I was visiting a neighbor recently and there was a man in his mid-to-late 80s, who happened to be at the house as well.  During the course of conversation, he started to quiz me about my book, The Power of Peers: How the Company You Keep Drives Leadership, Growth & Success, which I coauthored with Leon Shapiro.  He asked some incredibly good questions.  I loved his curiosity and offered him a copy, which he graciously accepted.  In return, he jotted down a quote in Italian (see graphic above), which essentially means: “Tell me your company, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

While it’s strikingly similar to the English expression, “You’re known by the company you keep,” I found the translation of the Italian especially powerful.  There’s something more pointed about the idea that the people with whom I surround myself reveals something larger about who I am as a person.  I can only hope so because about a week or so later, I spent an incredible day in San Francisco with two people whom I not only admire and respect, but also really like.

André Eidskrem and Karen Floyd were kind enough to treat me to a taste of Europe with visits to the Royal Norwegian Consul General, Hilde Janne Skorpen and Spain Tech Center Director, Christian Prada.  Again, I marveled at the insightful questions and the immediate grasp of two things:  1) Who we surround yourself with matters; and 2) we don’t pay nearly enough attention to number 1.  Whether you’re a CEO of a Norwegian company, founder of a Spanish tech start-up, or just trying to spread the word about the power of peers and peer advantage.  We’re all far more effective when we surround ourselves with great people – people who will support us when we ask, challenge us when we need it, and provide a perspective that offers a new way of thinking or a new way forward.

As I reflect on the past year, I think about all the amazing people I’ve met who have already made my life richer.   I hope the company I keep, as the Italian expression suggests, is the truest reflection of who I am as a person.  Next time you look in the mirror, rather than look at your reflection, turn around and take stock of the people in your life.  Make this the reflection that matters most and it will change your life for the better.

Meet Jonathan the Husky, the mascot for the University of Connecticut.  He’s an enduring and evolving symbol, named in honor of the last colonel and the first governor of the “Constitution State.”  There’s a costumed version and an actual canine.  I’ll leave it to you to guess which one is standing with me in this photo taken at last night’s game – an exhibition between the 2016-2017 edition of the UCONN women’s basketball team and Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP).

My interest in attending the game was to see firsthand how a team that lost its top three players, who also happened to be the top three picks in the WNBA draft, would reassemble itself for this upcoming season.  With the leaders of last year’s team gone, who would step up this year?   While it’s way too early to tell, it may turn out that there’s no natural go-to player, so much as they play as a jazz ensemble that features a different solo performer each and every night.  (A scary thought if you’re tasked with preparing to play them).

You might also argue (as I do) that last year’s stars Breanna Stewart, Morgan Tuck and Moriah Jefferson may have graduated, but they are ever present.  The peer-to-peer culture that these players learned from those who came before them, lives on in the team who stepped on the floor last night.   They played with an energy, excitement and athleticism that showcased their own personality, and yet at the same time, they were strengthened by the cultural legacy that makes Connecticut uniquely Connecticut.  Turns out, UCONN received a pre-season AP ranking of #3 in the country.  Rebuilding year?  Doesn’t look like it.

Last night’s game score was 111-39.  Buckle-up for the 2016-2017 installment of UCONN women’s basketball.  Join Jonathan and me for as many games as you can!

I think a lot of Red Sox fans would agree that without the heroics of David Ortiz (Big Papi), the story going into this year’s postseason might have focused on the prospect of a match-up between the Boston Red Sox and the Chicago Cubs and which team might finally break their respective curse.  What fewer people may realize (outside of New England) is that if not for some heavy lobbying by Pedro Martinez after Ortiz was released by the Minnesota Twins at the end of the 2002 season, Ortiz not only wouldn’t have joined the Red Sox, but may have found it difficult to get a job with any team in major league baseball at that time.

In a piece by ESPN last month, Ortiz and his agent described the situation this way:

ORTIZ: So now you see all these guys signing, and I’ve got nothing. I didn’t think I wasn’t going to play, but I was preparing to just go to winter ball and hope something came up. So I went to winter ball and had a good winter, but I didn’t have anything.

FERNANDO CUZA, AGENT TO DAVID ORTIZ: David was calling me five times a day. He was nervous as s—. I’ll never forget being in that coffee shop with him at the Sheraton in Santo Domingo [capital of the Dominican Republic]. That face.

Every day that went by, you could see it. He was saying, “I’m young. I have no other skills but to play baseball, but nobody wants me. What am I going to do? How am I going to provide for my family?” I told him if you get the chance, you’re gonna be a son of a bitch. You’re gonna tear it up. I didn’t think his career was over, because he was a great hitter.

DESPITE HIS AGENT’S words, Ortiz was in a full panic by January. Spring training was six weeks away, and he had no job. There were no offers, no workouts, no invites. The Red Sox now had Jeremy Giambi, Zuleta and Hillenbrand on the roster. Then came an intervention from an unlikely source — perhaps the greatest Sox pitcher of all time.

A Boston Globe article last week provided then Red Sox President Larry Lucchino’s account of the call from Pedro:

“[Martinez] called me after the Twins cut David and said, ‘I’m not calling about my contract. I just want to call you directly and make a suggestion.’ I said, ‘Yeah, go.’ He said, ‘David Ortiz is out there. He just got released. It baffles me as to why he was released. But he’s really a good guy, No. 1, and he can really hit, No. 2, so it would mean a lot if you can give him a chance to make the Red Sox.’

“It was that call that set in motion the events that led us to signing David Ortiz.”

When the Twins cut Ortiz, his agent, Fern Cuza, sent faxes to every team informing them of Ortiz’s availability. No team showed meaningful initial interest. Ortiz believes Martinez changed that.

When the Red Sox organization and its fans paid tribute to Big Papi on the final day of the regular season at Fenway Park, Ortiz publicly thanked Pedro Martinez for being the guy he credits for making it all possible.  If the power of peers could rid Boston of the Curse of the Bambino, then imagine how it could impact your life.

As we prepare for the Year of the Peer, here are two things you can do today that will have an immediate impact on your life and the life of someone else:  1) Think of a peer that helped you at some point in your life.  Call, email, text, create a video or pen a handwritten note and thank them!  You’ll make their day and you’ll feel pretty good, too! 2) Think of a peer who could either benefit from your encouragement or expertise (or both) and let them know that whatever it is they are trying to achieve in life, that you are in their corner.  Show them you believe in them and if you think you can help by making a “Pedro-call,” don’t ask, just do it.

Simple acts.  Big impact.  The power of peers.  Go Red Sox!